The Yaoi Potion
by 4eyedlunatic
Summary: What happens when Orochimaru tries to create a potion for making people fall in love? Lots of fun and lovecrazy shinobi! Not really that much yaoiness. NejiTen, ShikaTema, NaruHina, SasuSaku, and slight KabuOro


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, unfortunately pouts

**The Yaoi Potion**

Chapter One: The Great Scheme

It was a normal day in the sound village and I was taking a stroll through the

corridors.

BOOM!

Suddenly, I heard an explosion and saw smoke coming from _my _room! I ran in the

room waving smoke out of the way. As the smoke cleared I noticed a familiar figure

hunched over my desk.

"Orochimaru-sama! Are you alright?"

"I'm okay," he replied "Actually, I'm better than okay!"

"Why," I asked, half fretting the answer.

"I have just made a potion that will cure all my problems."

"You mean you've actually made a potion to make you look like a man, instead of

a drag-queen!"

"No, that's next week. Today I have created the perfect yaoi potion."

"What?" I asked shocked and flabbergasted.

"A yaoi potion. It is so that I may use it on all the guys in the world so that they

will be so enamored with each other that it wouldn't matter that I want Sasuke-kun's

body."

"How do you know it works?" I asked along with murmuring something about

killing Sasuke.

" Well, I'm pretty confident with myself but, just in case I need you to sneak into

Konoha with this potion and try it out on one of the unsuspecting shinobi and come back

to tell me the results."

"Now?" I asked whining.

"Yes, NOW!" he replied sternly.

"Okay, Orochimaru-sama," I said with a sigh and rolled my eyes before

obediently poofing off.

I _really _didn't want to go now. It wasn't that the idea of spiking some poor

genin's drink with a potentially fatal potion didn't sound fun, it was just that this was all

for _Sasuke._ I don't know why he is so special to Orochimaru-sama. I mean who was it

that helped treat his arms, who was it that helped save him from Tsunade, who was it that

has been with him so long that they don't even have a past story? Not _Sasuke_, I can tell

you that much. Yet all I ever hear out of him is _Sasuke-kun_, _Sasuke-kun_, _Sasuke-kun_!

As I jumped by from tree limb to tree limb my thoughts strayed to different ways

of destroying Sasuke; most having to do with either giving him an exploding present or

throwing him into a pit of rabid fangirls. Though, all my plans ended the same;

Orochimaru-sama seeing how far superior I am to Sasuke and declaring his undying love

for me and I would of course except his love. Then we would run off into the sunset and

elope! With this pleasant thought in mind I let a slight smile slip past my lips.

Sooner than I knew it I had to clear my mind and put on a straight face. I was now

approaching the gates of the hidden leaf village and I had to be stealthy. Jumping from

tree to tree I made sure to keep quiet. Soon, I was feet away from a couple of guards on

duty.

"Good, I've gone unnoticed so far," I whispered to myself under my breath,

"Also, these two will be easy to get by."

Quietly I watched them until the time was right. Then, I jumped behind one guard

and in one easy motion with my glowing hand I cut both his arteries in his neck and he

collapsed with a thud; dead. The second came at me kunai in hand but, I easily disarmed

him and, just like his comrade I cut his arteries and he dropped.

"Now, what to do with the bodies?" I asked myself staring down at the two sacks

of flesh near my feet. After a couple minutes deliberation I tossed the two over my

shoulder and the gate. I waited for the thud of their impact.

"Now," I said to myself, "I don't think they switch off guards for another couple

of hours so I should be safe until then. Though, I still need to be stealthy and quick." Off

I went again with a jump in to the village to seek out my first victim.

(Author's Note)

Orochimaru: I'm NOT a "drag-queen"!

Kabuto: Yeah! And I'm straight I tell you! Straight, STRAIGHT!

4el: Anywho, for those of you reading this that are completely oblivious and have

cookies for brains this whole story is written in Kabuto's pov. Also, this story is partially

under humor so all Kabuto fans don't get angry. He's one of my favorite characters, it's

just I'm a good sport and can have a little fun teasing him.

Kabuto: Hey! That's not nice!

Gaara: This is 4el's first fanfic so please leave plenty of reviews.

Kabuto: Wait! Why are _you_ here?

Gaara: Because she likes me better.

4el: It's true. hugs Gaara

Gaara: sticks tongue out at Kabuto

Kabuto: whimpers I feel so left out.


End file.
